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Single celled amoebas are really small
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The funniest joke in the world
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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Individualism is the plague of society
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Drop me a line, i’m stuck down here
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Dont put all of your eggs in one backet
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Now everyone likes to see videos of cute little dogs
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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I am one sandwich short of an afternoon tea
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Sometimes bull shit takes over
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
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How many light bulbs do it take to change a light bulb
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
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I want to watch paint dry, roll on the fun
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I understand that you have been talking about me.
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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If you are rich i applaud you, now buy me a drink
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I have no idea why you are here.
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Funny Lenny Henry stand up sketch
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I will sweep you off your feet
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How to have your cake and eat it
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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If life gives you chocolate, eat it
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I am impossible, stop dreaming about me.
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Cruising with the car top down
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If only i had accepted that deal
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How to improve your golf swing
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The bartender really doesn’t like you
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Do you ever feel like pinning a tail on a donkey?
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Ever been caught naked on the lawn?
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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I am on the train to nowhere because the bugger broke down
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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One step forward two steps back.
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Until recently, i had no idea that bears like sushi
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I love playing my guitar, the open G gives the best sound
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The lord giveth, but wants it back with interest.
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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I like to question my sanity, but it has an answer for everything
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First to the finish line is a rotten egg
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Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
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Cheese makes the world go round
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What to do when you spill coffee over your computer
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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What did the guy say to the bar tender?
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The taxi is early, hurry time is money
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That punch has got a really strong kick
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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Funny Tracy Morgan interview for time magazine.
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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The car broke down, it’s hit the wall.
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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I hate everything to do with being good
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Opening scene from Team America world police
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How to deal with bad customers
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I am really struggling to understand the etymology of the human race
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