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If life gives you lemons, buy tequila
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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We should fight for clowns rights, put a smile on their face.
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How many women do it take to change a light bulb?
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I understand that you have been talking about me.
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
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How to take care of your computer
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People in love are very good landscapers
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My name is Richard and i am addicted to laughter
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Does a fish swim in the water?
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This guy seriously needs a beer.
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The problem with locking people up and throwing away the key
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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If i was ten years younger, i would be under age
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Recent scientific studies report that monkeys like to climb trees.
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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Cruising with the car top down
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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I like moshing to songs of praise
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Welcome to the nonsense factory
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That punch has got a really strong kick
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I am a chain smoker, aluminium is the best
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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A builder goes to the doctor with complaints of pain from passing bricks.
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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Will all of the world leaders follow me please
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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OMG this stress free life is doing my head in.
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Johnny Vegas gets shouted down
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Suggestions for school teacher dress codes
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If only i had accepted that deal
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A chicken a day keeps the bullies at bay
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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The funniest joke in the world
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I am currently studying at the university of life
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What do you do when you fall over?
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The taxi is early, hurry time is money
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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I hate songs that just repeat the same one line vocals
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How to have your cake and eat it
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Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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I’ve just gone into business with a monkey
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How to make freshly squeezed lemon juice
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Man orders blue steak but it jumps off the plate and walks away
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How to deal with bad customers
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How to clean your car properly
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I have got something to show you
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What is bright and at the end of the tunnel
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Does this top make my ass look fat
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I’m getting too old for this retirement lark
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Does it ever occur to you that we are here.
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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It’s never too late, i mean ask this old codger
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Rabbits eat vegetables, men eat rabbits
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I went to the zoo because i like wild animals.
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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Funny scene from Shaolin soccer
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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When people dangle the carrot on the end of the stick they make a mistake, i hate carrots
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Sometimes bull shit takes over
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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I think they’re an odd looking pair of socks
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Back in the day before it got dark.
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I didn’t know bulls like china shops
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Now everyone likes to see videos of cute little dogs
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I know a great game called 52 card pick up
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