I am moving to Venus.
Great news, i am moving to Venus.
Ooh la la
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I didn’t know bulls like china shops
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Apples are good for your health, do not go near them
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but why when words are so much more effective
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Always look on the bright side of life, the alternative is crap
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If i was ten years younger, i would be under age
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I went to the zoo because i like wild animals.
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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Video guaranteed to make you smile
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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Funny scene from Shaolin soccer
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How many light bulbs do it take to change a light bulb
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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My flight was cancelled so i got the bus
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How to find out who ate your pickled onion
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My head it just stopped bloody growing
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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If i could be anyone for a day it would be doctor who
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I have got something to show you
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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What did the cat say to the carrot?
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
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Get something special for your birthday
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Cruising with the car top down
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Does this top make my ass look fat
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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How to clean your car properly
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Reverse psychology never works
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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I ordered breakfast in bed for two
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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Totally cheesy fight scene, hilarious
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My name is Richard and i am addicted to laughter
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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The bartender really doesn’t like you
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Duel in a graveyard, 1,2,3,4,5, oops
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The lord giveth, but wants it back with interest.
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Back in the day before it got dark.
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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How many women do it take to change a light bulb?
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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I like moshing to songs of praise
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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Space invaders are a real pain
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Public speech entitled, i am a recluse
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Pandora’s box is full of Christmas goodies
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The male chauvanist vs feminist
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Video of Tim Minchin getting serious about prejudice
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Top three ways to get a girls attention
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I caught the train but it broke my hand
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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Language cross references, funny named places
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Mind boggling literature, read more
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Harry potter spoof, the Hogwarts hangover (18+)
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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I cant understand a single word the milk daddy says
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