I am moving to Venus.
Great news, i am moving to Venus.
Ooh la la
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The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
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Drop me a line, i’m stuck down here
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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The funniest joke in the world
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How to improve your golf swing
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If you buy your wife the wrong flowers
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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What do you do when you fall over?
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If life gives you lemons, buy tequila
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but why when words are so much more effective
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If you see a big puddle, walk around it. No heroics or you will be trippin’ head first
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Why is my life so dark and dreary?
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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Rabbits eat vegetables, men eat rabbits
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Public speech entitled, i am a recluse
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It is nothing personal, just business
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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Do not forget why you are here
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Pet hates usually cover anything but your actual pets
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Does it ever occur to you that we are here.
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Top three ways to get a girls attention
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The royal mint is only open after eight
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I like food, perhaps a bit too much
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The town was very busy today, especially when i went in on the wrong side.
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Darkness is surrounding me, well turn on the light then
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Funny Tracy Morgan interview for time magazine.
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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If i had just one wish i would wish for another one.
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Johnny Vegas gets shouted down
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I have got something to show you
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Which super hero would you be?
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I will sweep you off your feet
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What to do when you spill coffee over your computer
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I just finished reading an excellent book, the actors did a fantastic job
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Recent scientific studies report that monkeys like to climb trees.
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
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Suggestions for school teacher dress codes
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Opening scene from Team America world police
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How to take care of your computer
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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The sun is up and down like a bloody yoyo
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How LOTR should have ended. comedy video
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Book review of the novel titled empty pages
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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Individualism is the plague of society
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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Anything you do say will be used against you in this relationship
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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I am a chain smoker, aluminium is the best
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How to make the perfect coffee
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You have made your bed now jump on it
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Space invaders are a real pain
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My flight was cancelled so i got the bus
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