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If life gives you lemons, demand a refund because you ordered limes
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I know a great game called 52 card pick up
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It’s never too late, i mean ask this old codger
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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Why is the rum gone, funny pirates remix video
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My bone is broken in three places
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Happy birthday songs are not always happy
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The world makes money go round
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OMG this stress free life is doing my head in.
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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If you are rich i applaud you, now buy me a drink
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If you moved any slower you would go back in time
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The lord giveth, but wants it back with interest.
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If you have no life, you might live longer
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I have got something to show you
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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Duel in a graveyard, 1,2,3,4,5, oops
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A builder goes to the doctor with complaints of pain from passing bricks.
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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My flight was cancelled so i got the bus
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I the devil ever comes knocking
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Funny scene from Shaolin soccer
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I have no idea what you are saying.
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The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
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How to improve your golf swing
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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I got myself locked up to escape from my wife.
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I was named after a great leader of men, they call me Barbara.
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Cheese makes the world go round
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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First to the finish line is a rotten egg
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but why when words are so much more effective
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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Stop it, your driving me over the edge
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How to improve your golf swing
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The server crashed. OMG i hope he’s ok. As you can clearly see, i like to talk.
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I am one sandwich short of an afternoon tea
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Back in the day before it got dark.
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The taxi is early, hurry time is money
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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A chicken a day keeps the bullies at bay
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Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
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I will sweep you off your feet
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I went to the woods today, it gifts clarity.
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What did the cat say to the carrot?
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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I think it’s great how trains choo choo
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My head it just stopped bloody growing
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I am a chain smoker, aluminium is the best
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The town was very busy today, especially when i went in on the wrong side.
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Drop me a line, i’m stuck down here
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The funniest joke in the world
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The bartender really doesn’t like you
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Public speech entitled, i am a recluse
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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The car broke down, it’s hit the wall.
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