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How to deal with bad customers
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My bone is broken in three places
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I have the power to move mountains, on a map
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Power walks are great when you are late
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I ordered breakfast in bed for two
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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If only i had accepted that deal
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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People in love are very good landscapers
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The warrior within failed to show up
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What do you say to a woman who is doing her nails?
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If i had just one wish i would wish for another one.
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Do you ever feel like pinning a tail on a donkey?
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The taxi is early, hurry time is money
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Drop me a line, i’m stuck down here
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You have made your bed now jump on it
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I think it’s great how trains choo choo
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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OMG this stress free life is doing my head in.
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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Waiter, there is a hare in my stew.
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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What is bright and at the end of the tunnel
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Always look on the bright side of life, the alternative is crap
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I love playing my guitar, the open G gives the best sound
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Wow, that theory on copper mining is so deep
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I am one sandwich short of an afternoon tea
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but bullets will surely kill me
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Reverse psychology never works
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Coffee is evil and reptiles are insane
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The things people do to look cool
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A chicken a day keeps the bullies at bay
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I caught the train but it broke my hand
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How to make freshly squeezed lemon juice
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I want to watch paint dry, roll on the fun
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I have a mac, it is yellow and is great in the rain
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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If you buy your wife the wrong flowers
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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I am buying my time, how does £1000 sound?
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Peace is hard to find when shit keeps going wrong
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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Proof that footballers don’t have legs
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I the devil ever comes knocking
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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If life gives you lemons, buy tequila
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I don’t know what to say, but i’ll say it anyway
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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I am on the train to nowhere because the bugger broke down
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One step forward two steps back.
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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My flight was cancelled so i got the bus
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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Pandora’s box is full of Christmas goodies
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Darkness is surrounding me, well turn on the light then
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Keep your friends close and your enemies in a little box
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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Today i woke up with my eyes wide open, last night i went to sleep with my eyes wide shut
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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