After a shave apply plasters
And it helps not to drink too much the night before
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How to find out who ate your pickled onion
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Mind boggling literature, read more
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What gets passed around, a joint
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Lets go to the local church rave
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I don’t know what to say, but i’ll say it anyway
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The sun is up and down like a bloody yoyo
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It’s never too late, i mean ask this old codger
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I was walking my pet lion today
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Drop me a line, i’m stuck down here
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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Power walks are great when you are late
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The taxi is early, hurry time is money
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Wow, the sun is so bright tonight
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When half of your hair is sitting on the table You are probably a bit stressed.
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Space invaders are a real pain
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What is bright and at the end of the tunnel
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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Now everyone likes to see videos of cute little dogs
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I love playing my guitar, the open G gives the best sound
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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I have a mac, it is yellow and is great in the rain
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How to make the perfect coffee
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One of my comedy silent movies
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If you see a big puddle, walk around it. No heroics or you will be trippin’ head first
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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Did you know that lions like to sleep?
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This update is like a birthday card
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Totally cheesy fight scene, hilarious
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Video of Tim Minchin getting serious about prejudice
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The warrior within failed to show up
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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I will sweep you off your feet
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If i was ten years younger, i would be under age
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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If you buy your wife the wrong flowers
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Cheesy jokes taste just like chicken
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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Book review of the novel, story of my life.
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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I have the power to move mountains, on a map
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An ocean of grass, right which one of you flooded the field?
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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Do not shout at me, i am delicate
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Today i woke up with my eyes wide open, last night i went to sleep with my eyes wide shut
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The biggest oversight by law enforcement.
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Reverse psychology never works
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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Peace is hard to find when shit keeps going wrong
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I am currently studying at the university of life
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Stop it, your driving me over the edge
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Now everybody loves to see videos of people hurting themselves
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Funny Lenny Henry stand up sketch
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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Ever heard of the chainsaw healer?
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The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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What did the cat say to the carrot?
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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