After a shave apply plasters
And it helps not to drink too much the night before
SHARE THIS SNIPPET...
SPONSORS
RANDOM POST
Another one »- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I am buying my time, how does £1000 sound?
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
I want to watch paint dry, roll on the fun
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
One of my comedy silent movies
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
The world makes money go round
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Coffee is evil and reptiles are insane
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
My car has died, but at least i dont have to pay for a funeral.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
The funniest joke in the world
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
Wow, i genuinely didn’t know that pigs can fly.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I do not understand your sense of humour
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
If i had a pound for every time you said that
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
I have no idea why you are here.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Will all of the world leaders follow me please
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Video of Tim Minchin getting serious about prejudice
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
If life gives you chocolate, eat it
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I like food, perhaps a bit too much
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
Seize the day, forget last night
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
The taxi is early, hurry time is money
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
I understand that you have been talking about me.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
The server crashed. OMG i hope he’s ok. As you can clearly see, i like to talk.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
The bogey man is coming to get you
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
I put my blood, sweat and tears into that soup
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Now everybody loves to see videos of people hurting themselves
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
I love playing my guitar, the open G gives the best sound
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
I like cars, i like to ride them down the hill.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
What did the cat say to the carrot?
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
Team America – love scene (18+)
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
I am impossible, stop dreaming about me.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
There is a chicken from kentucky
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
My speech impediment, i never shut up
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I didn’t know bulls like china shops
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Welcome to the nonsense factory
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
My head it just stopped bloody growing
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
When people dangle the carrot on the end of the stick they make a mistake, i hate carrots
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Duel in a graveyard, 1,2,3,4,5, oops
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
Lets go to the local church rave
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I am currently studying at the university of life
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
The warrior within failed to show up
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Hay fever is popping round to say hello
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I caught the train but it broke my hand
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
A bit of wisdom from wise ol’ richie
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
How many light bulbs do it take to change a light bulb
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Ever been caught naked on the lawn?
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Individualism is the plague of society
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
If life gives you lemons, demand a refund because you ordered limes
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
- Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I don’t know what to say, but i’ll say it anyway
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Darkness is surrounding me, well turn on the light then
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
They took everything but the shirt off my back
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
I think they’re an odd looking pair of socks
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter - Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter
-
Single celled amoebas are really small
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter -
Harry potter spoof, the Hogwarts hangover (18+)
Share this snippet on Facebook or Twitter