After a shave apply plasters
And it helps not to drink too much the night before
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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Wow, the sun is so bright tonight
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Wow, i genuinely didn’t know that pigs can fly.
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Cruising with the car top down
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Frodo is going through a strange transition
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Once there was a man from the city
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I am really struggling to understand the etymology of the human race
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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I got myself locked up to escape from my wife.
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This update is like a birthday card
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Get something special for your birthday
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Welcome to the nonsense factory
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When your mind is racing, wear a helmet
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I do not understand your sense of humour
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Suggestions for school teacher dress codes
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The car broke down, it’s hit the wall.
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Does this top make my ass look fat
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Anything you do say will be used against you in this relationship
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If life gives you chocolate, eat it
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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My name is Richard and i am addicted to laughter
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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If life gives you lemons, demand a refund because you ordered limes
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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I caught the train but it broke my hand
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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Ever been caught naked on the lawn?
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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The things people do to look cool
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When half of your hair is sitting on the table You are probably a bit stressed.
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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Will all of the world leaders follow me please
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I am a chain smoker, aluminium is the best
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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Ever heard of the chainsaw healer?
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How to clean your car properly
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You are always picking my brain
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I cant understand a single word the milk daddy says
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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Individualism is the plague of society
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Waiter, there is a hare in my stew.
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I think they’re an odd looking pair of socks
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I love playing my guitar, the open G gives the best sound
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I hate everything to do with being good
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Top three ways to get a girls attention
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Power walks are great when you are late
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The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
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If you are rich i applaud you, now buy me a drink
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The royal mint is only open after eight
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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Sometimes bull shit takes over
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Language cross references, funny named places
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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A bit of wisdom from wise ol’ richie
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Why is the rum gone, funny pirates remix video
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The Amazing Lyrebird of Australia – Unseen Footage
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but bullets will surely kill me
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