For the ladies
Hi, wink.
Nice to meet you.
Your hair looks great, OMG how did you achieve that amazing colour.
Those nails look sharp, better not upset you eh. te he, he he 
Lets meet up over mochachino and flirt.
Mwah!!!
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My speech impediment, i never shut up
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One step forward two steps back.
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The car broke down, it’s hit the wall.
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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I’m getting too old for this retirement lark
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If i was ten years younger, i would be under age
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Public speech entitled, i am a recluse
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Did you know that lions like to sleep?
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Joe bloggs has written something on my facebook wall
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The things people do to look cool
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I am currently studying at the university of life
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
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What gets passed around, a joint
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Now everyone likes to see videos of cute little dogs
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The lord giveth, but wants it back with interest.
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Funny post it stop motion video.
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Language cross references, funny named places
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Wow, that theory on copper mining is so deep
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If i could be anyone for a day it would be doctor who
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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Waiter, there is a hare in my stew.
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I hate everything to do with being good
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How to clean your car properly
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Good things come to those who take
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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Space invaders are a real pain
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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Single celled amoebas are really small
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Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
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If you moved any slower you would go back in time
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I understand that you have been talking about me.
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Always look on the bright side of life, the alternative is crap
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It’s never too late, i mean ask this old codger
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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Very funny Lee Evans instrument mime
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
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I the devil ever comes knocking
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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The problem with locking people up and throwing away the key
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Sometimes bull shit takes over
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I went to the shop after hours, but it was closed.
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I love playing my guitar, the open G gives the best sound
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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What did the guy say to the bar tender?
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Ever heard of the chainsaw healer?
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I think it’s great how trains choo choo
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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I think they’re an odd looking pair of socks
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I went to the woods today, it gifts clarity.
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Stop it, your driving me over the edge
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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I was named after a great leader of men, they call me Barbara.
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Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
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Wow, the sun is so bright tonight
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If only i had accepted that deal
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You are always picking my brain
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Cheese makes the world go round
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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Lets go to the local church rave
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I have the power to move mountains, on a map
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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