Harry potter spoof, the Hogwarts hangover (18+)
Crazy muggles. tut tut tut
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Do not shout at me, i am delicate
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Rabbits eat vegetables, men eat rabbits
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Peace is hard to find when shit keeps going wrong
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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How many light bulbs do it take to change a light bulb
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Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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Today i woke up with my eyes wide open, last night i went to sleep with my eyes wide shut
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If you buy your wife the wrong flowers
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Are you in touch with your inner gorilla?
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How to improve your golf swing
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I am impossible, stop dreaming about me.
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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I am on the train to nowhere because the bugger broke down
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I am currently studying at the university of life
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My head it just stopped bloody growing
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Cheesy jokes taste just like chicken
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Once there was a man from the city
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If life gives you lemons, demand a refund because you ordered limes
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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That punch has got a really strong kick
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I cant understand a single word the milk daddy says
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A builder goes to the doctor with complaints of pain from passing bricks.
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Very funny Lee Evans instrument mime
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Joe bloggs has written something on my facebook wall
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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I am really struggling to understand the etymology of the human race
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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If i was ten years younger, i would be under age
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I was named after a great leader of men, they call me Barbara.
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Man orders blue steak but it jumps off the plate and walks away
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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Dont put all of your eggs in one backet
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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When your mind is racing, wear a helmet
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I understand that you have been talking about me.
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If only i had accepted that deal
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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I will sweep you off your feet
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but bullets will surely kill me
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but why when words are so much more effective
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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Funny Lenny Henry stand up sketch
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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I think they’re an odd looking pair of socks
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The bartender really doesn’t like you
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Book review of the novel titled empty pages
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I went to the zoo because i like wild animals.
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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I have the power to move mountains, on a map
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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It is nothing personal, just business
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I just finished reading an excellent book, the actors did a fantastic job
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I do not understand your sense of humour
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Lets go to the local church rave
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I didn’t know bulls like china shops
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My bone is broken in three places
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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