Hercules is an urban legend
As you can see i failed my history class
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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How to make freshly squeezed lemon juice
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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This bill is far too high, he should not have smoked the whole joint
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One step forward two steps back.
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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What did the guy say to the bar tender?
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
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I’m getting too old for this retirement lark
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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I understand that you have been talking about me.
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We should fight for clowns rights, put a smile on their face.
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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Did you know that lions like to sleep?
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I cant understand a single word the milk daddy says
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Back in the day before it got dark.
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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Drop me a line, i’m stuck down here
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What do you say to a woman who is doing her nails?
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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What did the cat say to the carrot?
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Wow, that theory on copper mining is so deep
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How to make the perfect coffee
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If i had just one wish i would wish for another one.
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If life gives you chocolate, eat it
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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I will sweep you off your feet
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He woke up, it had all been a dream
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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Peace is hard to find when shit keeps going wrong
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Pet hates usually cover anything but your actual pets
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Man orders blue steak but it jumps off the plate and walks away
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Do not shout at me, i am delicate
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The funniest joke in the world
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What gets passed around, a joint
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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First to the finish line is a rotten egg
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Very funny Lee Evans instrument mime
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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I went to the woods today, it gifts clarity.
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My bone is broken in three places
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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The Amazing Lyrebird of Australia – Unseen Footage
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I was named after a great leader of men, they call me Barbara.
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Hay fever is popping round to say hello
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I am buying my time, how does £1000 sound?
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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I’ve just gone into business with a monkey
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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Lets go to the local church rave
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