How to scramble an orange
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Reverse psychology never works
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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We should fight for clowns rights, put a smile on their face.
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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This update is like a birthday card
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If you have no life, you might live longer
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Will all of the world leaders follow me please
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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Every silver lining has a Thor ruining someone’s day
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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When half of your hair is sitting on the table You are probably a bit stressed.
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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An ocean of grass, right which one of you flooded the field?
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I got myself locked up to escape from my wife.
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My name is Richard and i am addicted to laughter
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I hate songs that just repeat the same one line vocals
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Funny Tracy Morgan interview for time magazine.
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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Suggestions for school teacher dress codes
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Now everyone likes to see videos of cute little dogs
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Recent scientific studies report that monkeys like to climb trees.
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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Joe bloggs has written something on my facebook wall
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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I have the power to move mountains, on a map
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I’d like to tell you a yolk about eggs
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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Do you ever feel like pinning a tail on a donkey?
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
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Why is my life so dark and dreary?
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Happy birthday songs are not always happy
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I think they’re an odd looking pair of socks
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How LOTR should have ended. comedy video
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Did you know that lions like to sleep?
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My car has died, but at least i dont have to pay for a funeral.
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Wow, i genuinely didn’t know that pigs can fly.
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Hay fever is popping round to say hello
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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The royal mint is only open after eight
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The warrior within failed to show up
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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Until recently, i had no idea that bears like sushi
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Book review of the novel titled empty pages
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I know a great game called 52 card pick up
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Cheese makes the world go round
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Video of Tim Minchin getting serious about prejudice
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The car broke down, it’s hit the wall.
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I don’t know what to say, but i’ll say it anyway
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How long is a piece of string?
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Alec Baldwin talks about his Team America character
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What did the guy say to the bar tender?
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A question for the oil companies, Mr oil to be specific
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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I like food, perhaps a bit too much
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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Back in the day before it got dark.
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The things people do to look cool
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What did the cat say to the carrot?
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Sometimes bull shit takes over
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The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
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I ordered breakfast in bed for two
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How to take care of your computer
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I want to watch paint dry, roll on the fun
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