How to scramble an orange
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When half of your hair is sitting on the table You are probably a bit stressed.
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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Get something special for your birthday
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Waiter, there is a hare in my stew.
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Which super hero would you be?
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I’m getting too old for this retirement lark
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Does a fish swim in the water?
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How to improve your golf swing
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The sun is up and down like a bloody yoyo
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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Back in the day before it got dark.
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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How long is a piece of string?
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I will sweep you off your feet
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Sometimes bull shit takes over
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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Funny Tracy Morgan interview for time magazine.
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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Do not forget why you are here
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I was walking my pet lion today
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Peace is hard to find when shit keeps going wrong
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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Individualism is the plague of society
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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I got myself locked up to escape from my wife.
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The royal mint is only open after eight
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My head it just stopped bloody growing
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I went to the zoo because i like wild animals.
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What did the cat say to the carrot?
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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Does this top make my ass look fat
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Do not shout at me, i am delicate
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Very funny Lee Evans instrument mime
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I think it’s great how trains choo choo
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I put my blood, sweat and tears into that soup
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I’ve just gone into business with a monkey
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One of my comedy silent movies
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Proof that footballers don’t have legs
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The car broke down, it’s hit the wall.
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Drop me a line, i’m stuck down here
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I have the power to move mountains, on a map
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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The problem with locking people up and throwing away the key
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Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
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I just finished reading an excellent book, the actors did a fantastic job
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Good things come to those who take
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A rhino charged me today, i almost fell out of my seat.
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All men are pigs, all women are farmers
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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