I am consistently random
Well if you don’t get that one then there is clearly something wrong with the world. lol
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I was walking my pet lion today
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I have no idea why you are here.
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Single celled amoebas are really small
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He woke up, it had all been a dream
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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Do not shout at me, i am delicate
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My speech impediment, i never shut up
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I think it’s great how trains choo choo
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I am on the train to nowhere because the bugger broke down
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Coffee is evil and reptiles are insane
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Funny Lenny Henry stand up sketch
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I am buying my time, how does £1000 sound?
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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You are always picking my brain
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Does it ever occur to you that we are here.
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The biggest oversight by law enforcement.
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It’s never too late, i mean ask this old codger
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How to have your cake and eat it
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Are you in touch with your inner gorilla?
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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I know a great game called 52 card pick up
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Does this top make my ass look fat
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Ever heard of the Albino skunk?
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My bone is broken in three places
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It is nothing personal, just business
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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Which super hero would you be?
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Language cross references, funny named places
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How to clean your car properly
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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The bartender really doesn’t like you
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My flight was cancelled so i got the bus
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Alec Baldwin talks about his Team America character
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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If life gives you lemons, demand a refund because you ordered limes
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Funny post it stop motion video.
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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A bit of wisdom from wise ol’ richie
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Power walks are great when you are late
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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Man orders blue steak but it jumps off the plate and walks away
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I do not understand your sense of humour
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My name is Richard and i am addicted to laughter
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but bullets will surely kill me
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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My car has died, but at least i dont have to pay for a funeral.
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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Stop it, your driving me over the edge
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The server crashed. OMG i hope he’s ok. As you can clearly see, i like to talk.
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Now everybody loves to see videos of people hurting themselves
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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I was named after a great leader of men, they call me Barbara.
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I caught the train but it broke my hand
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but why when words are so much more effective
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Wow, i genuinely didn’t know that pigs can fly.
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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If only i had accepted that deal
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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I hate songs that just repeat the same one line vocals
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