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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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Today i woke up with my eyes wide open, last night i went to sleep with my eyes wide shut
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I know a great game called 52 card pick up
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Now everyone likes to see videos of cute little dogs
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If you moved any slower you would go back in time
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Ever heard of the Albino skunk?
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The funniest joke in the world
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OMG this stress free life is doing my head in.
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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Gandalf goes to the world cup, video by pistol shrimps
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I put my blood, sweat and tears into that soup
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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Rabbits eat vegetables, men eat rabbits
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The problem with locking people up and throwing away the key
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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My name is Richard and i am addicted to laughter
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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How long is a piece of string?
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You are always picking my brain
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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The Amazing Lyrebird of Australia – Unseen Footage
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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My car has died, but at least i dont have to pay for a funeral.
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Wow, the sun is so bright tonight
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Give it a rest with the lullabies already, i cant get to sleep
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How to make freshly squeezed lemon juice
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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Stop it, your driving me over the edge
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Funny Tracy Morgan interview for time magazine.
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The taxi is early, hurry time is money
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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Dont put all of your eggs in one backet
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Wow, that theory on copper mining is so deep
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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Seize the day, forget last night
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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What do you say to a woman who is doing her nails?
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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Book review of the novel titled empty pages
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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My flight was cancelled so i got the bus
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People in love are very good landscapers
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How to have your cake and eat it
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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If i was ten years younger, i would be under age
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I am really struggling to understand the etymology of the human race
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I think they’re an odd looking pair of socks
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I didn’t know bulls like china shops
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I hate songs that just repeat the same one line vocals
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It’s never too late, i mean ask this old codger
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Coffee is evil and reptiles are insane
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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