If life gives you lemons, buy tequila
Though i urge you to drink responsibly
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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My head it just stopped bloody growing
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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Seize the day, forget last night
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If i had just one wish i would wish for another one.
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This bill is far too high, he should not have smoked the whole joint
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The town was very busy today, especially when i went in on the wrong side.
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I the devil ever comes knocking
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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I didn’t know bulls like china shops
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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The lord giveth, but wants it back with interest.
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The taxi is early, hurry time is money
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The problem with locking people up and throwing away the key
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I am one sandwich short of an afternoon tea
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I think they’re an odd looking pair of socks
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This update is like a birthday card
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First to the finish line is a rotten egg
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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I went to the zoo because i like wild animals.
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Anything you do say will be used against you in this relationship
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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OMG this stress free life is doing my head in.
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I went to the shop after hours, but it was closed.
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I went to the woods today, it gifts clarity.
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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The funniest joke in the world
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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