If life gives you lemons, buy tequila
Though i urge you to drink responsibly
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When your mind is racing, wear a helmet
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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I went to the shop after hours, but it was closed.
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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People in love are very good landscapers
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I went to the zoo because i like wild animals.
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Book review of the novel titled empty pages
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I ordered breakfast in bed for two
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The biggest oversight by law enforcement.
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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Wow, i genuinely didn’t know that pigs can fly.
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Duel in a graveyard, 1,2,3,4,5, oops
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Sometimes bull shit takes over
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One of my comedy silent movies
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I hate songs that just repeat the same one line vocals
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I don’t know what to say, but i’ll say it anyway
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I like cars, i like to ride them down the hill.
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Mind boggling literature, read more
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Stop it, your driving me over the edge
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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A chicken a day keeps the bullies at bay
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A rhino charged me today, i almost fell out of my seat.
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I am really struggling to understand the etymology of the human race
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How many women do it take to change a light bulb?
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It is nothing personal, just business
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Do not forget why you are here
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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I want to watch paint dry, roll on the fun
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I like to create masterpieces from great masterpieces
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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Book review of the novel, story of my life.
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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I caught the train but it broke my hand
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but why when words are so much more effective
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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I am impossible, stop dreaming about me.
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I got myself locked up to escape from my wife.
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A bit of wisdom from wise ol’ richie
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Cheesy jokes taste just like chicken
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You are always picking my brain
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If only i had accepted that deal
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If i could be anyone for a day it would be doctor who
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I think it’s great how trains choo choo
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Back in the day before it got dark.
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The royal mint is only open after eight
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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Pandora’s box is full of Christmas goodies
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The server crashed. OMG i hope he’s ok. As you can clearly see, i like to talk.
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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Why is the rum gone, funny pirates remix video
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What gets passed around, a joint
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How LOTR should have ended. comedy video
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I have no idea why you are here.
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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Very funny Lee Evans instrument mime
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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Cheese makes the world go round
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How many light bulbs do it take to change a light bulb
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Johnny Vegas gets shouted down
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Wow, the sun is so bright tonight
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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