If life gives you lemons, buy tequila
Though i urge you to drink responsibly
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The sun is up and down like a bloody yoyo
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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I am one sandwich short of an afternoon tea
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Always look on the bright side of life, the alternative is crap
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If i could be anyone for a day it would be doctor who
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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Johnny Vegas gets shouted down
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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Darkness is surrounding me, well turn on the light then
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Cruising with the car top down
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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I went to the woods today, it gifts clarity.
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Once there was a man from the city
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The world makes money go round
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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Power walks are great when you are late
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My name is Richard and i am addicted to laughter
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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It’s never too late, i mean ask this old codger
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I like to create masterpieces from great masterpieces
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I’ve just gone into business with a monkey
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All men are pigs, all women are farmers
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Did you know that lions like to sleep?
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I hate everything to do with being good
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Get something special for your birthday
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Public speech entitled, i am a recluse
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How long is a piece of string?
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