If you buy your wife the wrong flowers
Divorce is in the air.
da da da da da da
Divorce is in the air
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Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
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Peace is hard to find when shit keeps going wrong
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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I like to question my sanity, but it has an answer for everything
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Individualism is the plague of society
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Lenny Henry live at the apollo
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Gandalf goes to the world cup, video by pistol shrimps
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I went to the woods today, it gifts clarity.
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Coffee is evil and reptiles are insane
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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One of my comedy silent movies
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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I do not understand your sense of humour
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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A bit of wisdom from wise ol’ richie
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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A rhino charged me today, i almost fell out of my seat.
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This bill is far too high, he should not have smoked the whole joint
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Ever heard of the chainsaw healer?
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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My car has died, but at least i dont have to pay for a funeral.
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What to do when you spill coffee over your computer
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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A question for the oil companies, Mr oil to be specific
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Will all of the world leaders follow me please
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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When half of your hair is sitting on the table You are probably a bit stressed.
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I’d like to tell you a yolk about eggs
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I have no idea why you are here.
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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I am currently studying at the university of life
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Happy birthday songs are not always happy
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The things people do to look cool
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Lets go to the local church rave
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I like cars, i like to ride them down the hill.
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Wow, that theory on copper mining is so deep
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I was walking my pet lion today
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Did you know that lions like to sleep?
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I am impossible, stop dreaming about me.
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but bullets will surely kill me
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I know a great game called 52 card pick up
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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What did the cat say to the carrot?
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Team America – love scene (18+)
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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The problem with locking people up and throwing away the key
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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Which super hero would you be?
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Good things come to those who take
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This guy seriously needs a beer.
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You have made your bed now jump on it
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I caught the train but it broke my hand
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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If i had just one wish i would wish for another one.
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Johnny Vegas gets shouted down
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I am buying my time, how does £1000 sound?
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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Apples are good for your health, do not go near them
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If i could be anyone for a day it would be doctor who
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