If you buy your wife the wrong flowers
Divorce is in the air.
da da da da da da
Divorce is in the air
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Harry potter spoof, the Hogwarts hangover (18+)
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I was walking my pet lion today
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A builder goes to the doctor with complaints of pain from passing bricks.
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Ever heard of the Albino skunk?
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This bill is far too high, he should not have smoked the whole joint
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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Ever heard of the chainsaw healer?
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
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A bit of wisdom from wise ol’ richie
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Once there was a man from the city
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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First to the finish line is a rotten egg
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We should fight for clowns rights, put a smile on their face.
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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How long is a piece of string?
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The royal mint is only open after eight
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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Rabbits eat vegetables, men eat rabbits
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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Gandalf goes to the world cup, video by pistol shrimps
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Team America – love scene (18+)
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The sun is up and down like a bloody yoyo
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Very funny Lee Evans instrument mime
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It is nothing personal, just business
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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I’m getting too old for this retirement lark
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If i was ten years younger, i would be under age
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Man orders blue steak but it jumps off the plate and walks away
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You have made your bed now jump on it
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Opening scene from Team America world police
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If you moved any slower you would go back in time
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My speech impediment, i never shut up
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How to deal with bad customers
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The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
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People in love are very good landscapers
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This guy seriously needs a beer.
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Power walks are great when you are late
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Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
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The male chauvanist vs feminist
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
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Ever been caught naked on the lawn?
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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Always look on the bright side of life, the alternative is crap
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Space invaders are a real pain
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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The biggest oversight by law enforcement.
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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