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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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Waiter, there is a hare in my stew.
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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Once there was a man from the city
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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I ordered breakfast in bed for two
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I like to create masterpieces from great masterpieces
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A question for the oil companies, Mr oil to be specific
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My car has died, but at least i dont have to pay for a funeral.
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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I love playing my guitar, the open G gives the best sound
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How many women do it take to change a light bulb?
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I cant understand a single word the milk daddy says
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How to have your cake and eat it
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Which super hero would you be?
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I’ve just gone into business with a monkey
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Peace is hard to find when shit keeps going wrong
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Reverse psychology never works
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My bone is broken in three places
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Frodo is going through a strange transition
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Book review of the novel, story of my life.
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Power walks are great when you are late
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To avoid getting robbed, lock your doors
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Hay fever is popping round to say hello
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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Sometimes bull shit takes over
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Nightmares are a real nightmare
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How to clean your car properly
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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Dont put all of your eggs in one backet
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If life gives you lemons, demand a refund because you ordered limes
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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I have a mac, it is yellow and is great in the rain
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I like food, perhaps a bit too much
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Coffee is evil and reptiles are insane
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When half of your hair is sitting on the table You are probably a bit stressed.
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Joe bloggs has written something on my facebook wall
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Do you ever feel like pinning a tail on a donkey?
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Man orders blue steak but it jumps off the plate and walks away
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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One step forward two steps back.
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I was walking my pet lion today
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Will all of the world leaders follow me please
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Welcome to the nonsense factory
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Why is the rum gone, funny pirates remix video
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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The warrior within failed to show up
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The lord giveth, but wants it back with interest.
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If you have no life, you might live longer
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If life gives you lemons, buy tequila
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Ever heard of the chainsaw healer?
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You are always picking my brain
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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Funny Lenny Henry stand up sketch
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What do you do when you fall over?
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
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When talking to a woman it is rude to stare at her boobs.
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The problem with locking people up and throwing away the key
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One of my comedy silent movies
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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