The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
Stop throwing bottles at me, i personally think it is quite funny
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Are you in touch with your inner gorilla?
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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I have got something to show you
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I like food, perhaps a bit too much
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Does a fish swim in the water?
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Pandora’s box is full of Christmas goodies
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It is nothing personal, just business
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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I am on the train to nowhere because the bugger broke down
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Give it a rest with the lullabies already, i cant get to sleep
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I was named after a great leader of men, they call me Barbara.
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Harry potter spoof, the Hogwarts hangover (18+)
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I was walking my pet lion today
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When half of your hair is sitting on the table You are probably a bit stressed.
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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What did the cat say to the carrot?
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I went to the zoo because i like wild animals.
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Wow, the sun is so bright tonight
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Always look on the bright side of life, the alternative is crap
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If life gives you lemons, buy tequila
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I’d like to tell you a yolk about eggs
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Book review of the novel titled empty pages
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How to improve your golf swing
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You have made your bed now jump on it
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but why when words are so much more effective
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Get something special for your birthday
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My speech impediment, i never shut up
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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This guy seriously needs a beer.
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Suggestions for school teacher dress codes
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A chicken a day keeps the bullies at bay
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I will sweep you off your feet
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Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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Drop me a line, i’m stuck down here
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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Today i woke up with my eyes wide open, last night i went to sleep with my eyes wide shut
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How to take care of your computer
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The taxi is early, hurry time is money
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The bartender really doesn’t like you
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
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Mind boggling literature, read more
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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I cant understand a single word the milk daddy says
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If i could be anyone for a day it would be doctor who
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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Space invaders are a real pain
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My bone is broken in three places
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I am impossible, stop dreaming about me.
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OMG this stress free life is doing my head in.
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The biggest oversight by law enforcement.
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Seize the day, forget last night
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I didn’t know bulls like china shops
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I went to the shop after hours, but it was closed.
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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If i had just one wish i would wish for another one.
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