The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
Stop throwing bottles at me, i personally think it is quite funny
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Stop it, your driving me over the edge
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I got myself locked up to escape from my wife.
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He woke up, it had all been a dream
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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Man orders blue steak but it jumps off the plate and walks away
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Dont put all of your eggs in one backet
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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The royal mint is only open after eight
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If life gives you chocolate, eat it
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The bartender really doesn’t like you
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It is nothing personal, just business
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I’ve just gone into business with a monkey
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but bullets will surely kill me
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When your mind is racing, wear a helmet
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A chicken a day keeps the bullies at bay
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If i could be anyone for a day it would be doctor who
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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I understand that you have been talking about me.
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I hate everything to do with being good
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Darkness is surrounding me, well turn on the light then
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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I was walking my pet lion today
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I am a chain smoker, aluminium is the best
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The town was very busy today, especially when i went in on the wrong side.
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Does this top make my ass look fat
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Why is my life so dark and dreary?
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How to clean your car properly
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Did you know that lions like to sleep?
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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Every silver lining has a Thor ruining someone’s day
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I the devil ever comes knocking
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Very funny Lee Evans instrument mime
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This update is like a birthday card
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Funny scene from Shaolin soccer
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I have the power to move mountains, on a map
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Gandalf goes to the world cup, video by pistol shrimps
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What to do when you spill coffee over your computer
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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Book review of the novel, story of my life.
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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I didn’t know bulls like china shops
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Keep your friends close and your enemies in a little box
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The funniest joke in the world
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The Amazing Lyrebird of Australia – Unseen Footage
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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One of my comedy silent movies
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The lord giveth, but wants it back with interest.
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Proof that footballers don’t have legs
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