The world wide web, got those spiders must be huge
Thankyou , bows to applause. lol
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My head it just stopped bloody growing
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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If i had just one wish i would wish for another one.
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Are you in touch with your inner gorilla?
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I like cars, i like to ride them down the hill.
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I’m getting too old for this retirement lark
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My bone is broken in three places
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This guy seriously needs a beer.
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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Why is the rum gone, funny pirates remix video
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Which super hero would you be?
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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My speech impediment, i never shut up
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I am really struggling to understand the etymology of the human race
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Hay fever is popping round to say hello
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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The car broke down, it’s hit the wall.
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I am buying my time, how does £1000 sound?
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Every silver lining has a Thor ruining someone’s day
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A cliche a day keeps common sense at bay
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Happy birthday songs are not always happy
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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You have made your bed now jump on it
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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Seize the day, forget last night
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Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
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How many light bulbs do it take to change a light bulb
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What do you do when you fall over?
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Duel in a graveyard, 1,2,3,4,5, oops
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Getting old is like the metaphorical car
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If you see a big puddle, walk around it. No heroics or you will be trippin’ head first
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An ocean of grass, right which one of you flooded the field?
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If you rock the boat your friends might slap you with the oars
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Do not shout at me, i am delicate
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How to improve your golf swing
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I’d like to tell you a yolk about eggs
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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A rhino charged me today, i almost fell out of my seat.
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Recent scientific studies report that monkeys like to climb trees.
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Ever heard of the chainsaw healer?
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I ordered breakfast in bed for two
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Give it a rest with the lullabies already, i cant get to sleep
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I just finished reading an excellent book, the actors did a fantastic job
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The royal mint is only open after eight
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I like to question my sanity, but it has an answer for everything
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I am on the train to nowhere because the bugger broke down
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Cheese makes the world go round
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First to the finish line is a rotten egg
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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Waiter, there is a hare in my stew.
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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Team America – love scene (18+)
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Cheesy jokes taste just like chicken
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