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I like food, perhaps a bit too much
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Book review of the novel, story of my life.
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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Today i woke up with my eyes wide open, last night i went to sleep with my eyes wide shut
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If i had a pound for every time you said that
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The bogey man is coming to get you
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Hay fever is popping round to say hello
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I like cars, i like to ride them down the hill.
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Again, i didn’t quite catch that.
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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Now everyone likes to see videos of cute little dogs
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The things people do to look cool
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Proof that footballers don’t have legs
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Funny Lenny Henry stand up sketch
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I like to create masterpieces from great masterpieces
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I hate everything to do with being good
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If only i had accepted that deal
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It is nothing personal, just business
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I am on the train to nowhere because the bugger broke down
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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Opening scene from Team America world police
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I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me of hypochondria, but didn’t suggest any meds.
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Joe bloggs has written something on my facebook wall
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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I have got something to show you
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Public speech entitled, i am a recluse
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Now everybody loves to see videos of people hurting themselves
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Stop it, your driving me over the edge
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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Man orders blue steak but it jumps off the plate and walks away
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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Cheese makes the world go round
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The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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I ordered breakfast in bed for two
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How to make freshly squeezed lemon juice
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Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
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Single celled amoebas are really small
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Which super hero would you be?
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He woke up, it had all been a dream
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Waiter, there is a hare in my stew.
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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I have a mac, it is yellow and is great in the rain
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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I was walking my pet lion today
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What did the guy say to the bar tender?
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Reverse psychology never works
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My flight was cancelled so i got the bus
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My bone is broken in three places
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How many light bulbs do it take to change a light bulb
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I was named after a great leader of men, they call me Barbara.
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Are you in touch with your inner gorilla?
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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What do you say to a woman who is doing her nails?
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Frodo is going through a strange transition
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The warrior within failed to show up
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If i had a nice car i would be very surprised
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Wow, the sun is so bright tonight
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If you see a big puddle, walk around it. No heroics or you will be trippin’ head first
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If the prime minister refused to resign would that make him a dictator or an a-hole
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I went to the woods today, it gifts clarity.
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Cantankerous is an ancient Roman name
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