Who the hell are you?
Oh, a visiter, carry on then.
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People in love are very good landscapers
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Always look on the bright side of life, the alternative is crap
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If life gives you a kick in the teeth, go to a dentist
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How to improve your golf swing
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You have made your bed now jump on it
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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Dont put all of your eggs in one backet
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I am impossible, stop dreaming about me.
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I went to the shop after hours, but it was closed.
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I like playing jazz music to people who hate coffee shops
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Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
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My speech impediment, i never shut up
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Individualism is the plague of society
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Funny Lenny Henry stand up sketch
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Book review of the novel titled empty pages
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I the devil ever comes knocking
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Today i woke up with my eyes wide open, last night i went to sleep with my eyes wide shut
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It is nothing personal, just business
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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The Amazing Lyrebird of Australia – Unseen Footage
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Get something special for your birthday
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Wow, that theory on copper mining is so deep
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The world makes money go round
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I put my blood, sweat and tears into that soup
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I have a mac, it is yellow and is great in the rain
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The server crashed. OMG i hope he’s ok. As you can clearly see, i like to talk.
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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Why is my life so dark and dreary?
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What did the guy say to the bar tender?
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Mind boggling literature, read more
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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What do you say to a woman who is doing her nails?
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When your mind is racing, wear a helmet
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I understand that you have been talking about me.
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When people dangle the carrot on the end of the stick they make a mistake, i hate carrots
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I’d like to tell you a yolk about eggs
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but bullets will surely kill me
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Joe bloggs has written something on my facebook wall
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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If life gives you chocolate, eat it
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A question for the oil companies, Mr oil to be specific
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I hate songs that just repeat the same one line vocals
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Welcome to the nonsense factory
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If life gives you lemons, demand a refund because you ordered limes
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Funny scene from Shaolin soccer
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Book review of the novel, story of my life.
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There is a chicken from kentucky
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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That punch has got a really strong kick
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Duel in a graveyard, 1,2,3,4,5, oops
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Sunrises don’t set, they do if you’re painting them
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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Pandora’s box is full of Christmas goodies
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They took everything but the shirt off my back
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The problem with locking people up and throwing away the key
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Lenny Henry live at the apollo
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
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A rhino charged me today, i almost fell out of my seat.
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Every silver lining has a Thor ruining someone’s day
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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