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What? i don’t have anything to say
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I hate everything to do with being good
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The city that never sleeps, zzzzzzz
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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It’s never too late, i mean ask this old codger
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I like food, perhaps a bit too much
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Until recently, i had no idea that bears like sushi
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The Amazing Lyrebird of Australia – Unseen Footage
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How to make freshly squeezed lemon juice
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I was walking my pet lion today
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If only i had accepted that deal
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I am really struggling to understand the etymology of the human race
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Mmm, i love drinking coffee before bed
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Do you hear what i wrote on the wall
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Lend me your ear, i promise i’ll give it back
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Do not forget why you are here
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Now listen, i will only say this once
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I have no idea what you are saying.
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How many women do it take to change a light bulb?
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Wow, i genuinely didn’t know that pigs can fly.
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I am a chain smoker, aluminium is the best
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My fish and chips are undercooked, the haddock swam off the plate
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Day becomes night, and night becomes another f**king work day
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I am currently studying at the university of life
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When half of your hair is sitting on the table You are probably a bit stressed.
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I am buying my time, how does £1000 sound?
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I want to watch paint dry, roll on the fun
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Book review of the novel titled empty pages
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I was born with a wooden spoon up my arse
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Funny scene from Shaolin soccer
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If you cant sing then try not to speak
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I’d like to tell you a yolk about eggs
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How many light bulbs do it take to change a light bulb
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I was named after a great leader of men, they call me Barbara.
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I was born with a guitar in my hand
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Totally cheesy fight scene, hilarious
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Gandalf goes to the world cup, video by pistol shrimps
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I cant believe monkeys are so hairy
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I like cars, i like to ride them down the hill.
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Reverse psychology never works
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My car has died, but at least i dont have to pay for a funeral.
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but why when words are so much more effective
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Why is my life so dark and dreary?
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Today i woke up with my eyes wide open, last night i went to sleep with my eyes wide shut
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I cant understand a single word the milk daddy says
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Haiku’s can be deeply funny y’all.
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Wow, that trucks headlights almost blinded me this afternoon
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Get the tea on, don’t forget the vodka
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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It has recently come to my attention that discrimination needs to be quarantined.
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Keep your friends close and your enemies in a little box
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I am on the train to nowhere because the bugger broke down
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Single celled amoebas are really small
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Love thy neighbour, i mean she is hot
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Your eyes are feeling very heavy so go to bed
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I went to the shop after hours, but it was closed.
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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I like to go treasure hunting, it keeps me honest
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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A rhino charged me today, i almost fell out of my seat.
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If life gives you chocolate, eat it
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The biggest oversight by law enforcement.
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