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He woke up, it had all been a dream
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Darkness is surrounding me, well turn on the light then
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All men are pigs, all women are farmers
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Cruising with the car top down
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My speech impediment, i never shut up
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People in love are very good landscapers
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I wanted to see if i could fly so i jumped off the pavement
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When people dangle the carrot on the end of the stick they make a mistake, i hate carrots
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The car broke down, it’s hit the wall.
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All those who aren’t present put your hands up
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I caught the train but it broke my hand
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This update is like a birthday card
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Now everybody loves to see videos of people hurting themselves
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Does it ever occur to you that we are here.
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Very funny Lee Evans instrument mime
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I think it’s great how trains choo choo
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The warrior within failed to show up
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Someone suggested i take anger management classes, he wont be saying that again
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I rocked the mic, sorry i will pay to have it repaired
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I will sweep you off your feet
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How to take care of your computer
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If you see a big puddle, walk around it. No heroics or you will be trippin’ head first
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I’m getting too old for this retirement lark
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If only i had accepted that deal
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I like to question my sanity, but it has an answer for everything
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Ever heard of the Albino skunk?
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Ok, the powers that be decided that i should only do one liners. So here you go, just one line.
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Don’t you think it’s cool how all monkeys look like king kong?
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How to find out who ate your pickled onion
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I bought an apple, i kept it in my mac. But i crushed it in the hard drive home.
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What do you do when you fall over?
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I am getting crazy in here, let me out of this mental institution.
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If life gives you chocolate, eat it
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I like cars, i like to ride them down the hill.
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Reverse psychology never works
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Don’t get me wrong, i love her dearly but sometimes…
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Caution, this vehicle is reversing, get out of the bloody way
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I am a man of leisure, as soon as i finish from work
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Every silver lining has a Thor ruining someone’s day
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Give it a rest with the lullabies already, i cant get to sleep
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Language cross references, funny named places
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I’ve just gone into business with a monkey
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The sun is up and down like a bloody yoyo
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I don’t know what to say, but i’ll say it anyway
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The lord giveth, but wants it back with interest.
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The things people do to look cool
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I am a chain smoker, aluminium is the best
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Rabbits eat vegetables, men eat rabbits
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A builder goes to the doctor with complaints of pain from passing bricks.
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I ordered breakfast in bed for two
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Lamp that fool, put him into the darkness
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Proof that footballers don’t have legs
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How many women do it take to change a light bulb?
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I like food, perhaps a bit too much
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Does a fish swim in the water?
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I cant understand a single word the milk daddy says
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Religion is so not rock and roll
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I got myself locked up to escape from my wife.
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I am one sandwich short of an afternoon tea
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I wanted to get the word out so i told my friends to keep it secret.
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